MONKE PHILOSOPHY CLUB
Field notes from an overthinking primate

Big thoughts.
Small monkey.

A monkey found a banana. Then he found desire, ambition, society, and the crushing responsibility of having a brain. Things escalated.

Consult the banana

80 aphorisms · 4 corners of the jungle · 0 unsolicited life plans

A thoughtful little monkey with a banana Hand-drawn monkey perched on a branch, scratching his head while contemplating a floating banana. hmm.perhaps.
01 / The highly scientific ritual

Pick a problem.
Peel a thought.

Monke has no answers. He does have an unreasonable amount of opinions about fruit.

BANANAS / DESIREFIELD NOTE 000

Somewhere inside that banana, a thought is waiting to ruin your certainty.

— MONKE, STILL THINKING
0 of 20 encountered in this patch of jungle.
THE ORACLENO REFUNDS

One click. One thought.
Side effects may include perspective.

Choose a subject and press the banana. The universe is not on the hook for the results.

Important clarification

These are jokes wearing little philosopher hats. Not commandments.

The whole experiment

There are 20 thoughts per theme. No repeats until you’ve met them all. Then the jungle starts gossiping again.

02 / A scheduled existential snack

Monke of
the day.

A different thought for every calendar day. No algorithm learning your insecurities. Just an extremely predictable monkey.

CHANGES DAILY · SAME DATE, SAME QUOTE
THE DAILY FIELD NOTE

A bad afternoon is not a biography.

— THE JUNGLE
03 / The complete field guide

The jungle index.

Prefer to inspect all 80 thoughts in daylight? Every banana is accounted for. Open a chapter. No sign-up, no mysterious doors, no surprise webinar.

BananasOn wanting, having, and wanting again.20 THOUGHTS
  1. You do not want the banana. You want the wanting to stop.
  2. The first banana is breakfast. The fifth is a personality.
  3. A shiny banana is still a banana. The shine just charges rent.
  4. Every time I get what I want, my wanting files an appeal.
  5. I chased the sweetest fruit until I forgot I was hungry.
  6. The banana tastes better before you tell everyone you have it.
  7. Craving says “forever.” Satisfaction says “for now.” Both exaggerate.
  8. I called it a goal because “persistent itch” sounded less heroic.
  9. Monke has two stomachs: one for fruit, one for comparison.
  10. The easiest banana to enjoy is the one nobody is measuring.
  11. If all your bananas are trophies, lunch becomes exhausting.
  12. The fruit did not disappoint me. My prophecy about the fruit did.
  13. Sometimes the peel is the price of the sweetness.
  14. A forbidden banana acquires a marketing department in the mind.
  15. I got a bigger bunch. The empty feeling demanded a larger basket.
  16. The fruit you can taste is worth more than the fruit you can post.
  17. More choice made me a philosopher. Also very late for breakfast.
  18. If you wait until every banana is perfect, you will eat the calendar.
  19. Some hunger is a message. Some hunger is just a habit wearing a hat.
  20. Enough is not a fruit. It is the moment you put the basket down.
TreesOn climbing, arriving, and looking around.20 THOUGHTS
  1. I climbed the tallest tree to discover the view had no applause.
  2. The branch you stand on is allowed to be enough for today.
  3. Every tree looks shorter from the top. This is not an insult.
  4. The fastest climber still has to learn where to rest.
  5. I measured my height in branches and forgot to look at the sky.
  6. A ladder is useful. Making it your personality is less useful.
  7. Some monkeys call it ambition. Others call it escaping the ground.
  8. The tree did not move. My definition of “up” did.
  9. If you only count the height, you miss the shade.
  10. A thousand tiny climbs look unimpressive until you turn around.
  11. Do not confuse a crowded branch with a good destination.
  12. I wanted the highest branch. I neglected to ask what grows there.
  13. A falling leaf does not mean the tree has failed.
  14. I was so busy becoming somebody that I became unavailable.
  15. Trees grow quietly. Monkeys keep announcing their plans.
  16. The tallest tree cannot guarantee a better conversation.
  17. You can be proud of the climb and still come down for dinner.
  18. A branch is not wasted because you outgrew it.
  19. I built a throne in a tree, then complained there was nowhere to sit.
  20. You do not need to turn every sunrise into an upward trajectory.
Other MonkeysOn being a social animal with complicated eyebrows.20 THOUGHTS
  1. I wanted everyone to like me. Even the monkey throwing coconuts.
  2. We call it gossip when other monkeys explain our lives without us.
  3. A monkey who agrees with everything may simply want your banana.
  4. I rehearsed the perfect reply. The other monkey went home.
  5. Some monkeys listen. Others wait for their turn to hold the microphone-shaped stick.
  6. I mistook being noticed for being known. Common jungle error.
  7. If they cannot read your mind, try the ancient technology of words.
  8. A good boundary is a fence with a gate, not a moat with crocodiles.
  9. Two monkeys can disagree and still share shade.
  10. The monkey who claps loudest is not always the one who stays.
  11. Apologies are not magic bananas. The other monkey may still be hungry.
  12. You are not the main character in another monkey’s Tuesday.
  13. I kept score so carefully that the friendship started to feel like accounting.
  14. Not every silence is a verdict. Sometimes the other monkey is peeling fruit.
  15. The best company lets you put down the performance banana.
  16. I judged another monkey’s branch from a tree I had never climbed.
  17. Kindness without honesty is a very soft trap.
  18. If you must shrink to fit the group, check the size of the branch.
  19. Being understood feels rare partly because we rarely explain ourselves plainly.
  20. Love is not mind-reading. It is asking, listening, and sometimes carrying the basket.
The JungleOn uncertainty, meaning, and the occasional mango.20 THOUGHTS
  1. The jungle has no customer service. We are doing our best.
  2. I asked the universe for a sign. It sent weather.
  3. Everything changes, except my talent for acting surprised.
  4. The map is useful until you confuse the paper with the forest.
  5. Today is a very small kingdom. You actually live here.
  6. Chaos is not always a plot. Sometimes twelve monkeys have twelve plans.
  7. I spent an hour predicting rain. The rain spent an hour raining.
  8. A bad afternoon is not a biography.
  9. The future is a forest we keep trying to photograph from a seed.
  10. The past is a tree ring, not a room you can move back into.
  11. Meaning rarely arrives wearing a name tag.
  12. I asked whether life had a point. A beetle continued being a beetle.
  13. You can learn from a storm without calling the storm your teacher.
  14. Most days are not turning points. They are the path.
  15. I wanted certainty. The jungle offered reasonably good shoes.
  16. A quiet day is not an empty page.
  17. The stars did not personally arrange my problems. Rude, but freeing.
  18. Some mysteries deserve a telescope. Others deserve a nap.
  19. Freedom includes choosing a small, ordinary life on purpose.
  20. I thought I had to solve existence. Then someone handed me a mango.
04 / One last thought

Monke is not wiser than you.

He is just willing to say the ridiculous part out loud. Read these like a conversation with a friend who has terrible posture and occasional flashes of clarity. Keep what helps. Laugh at what doesn’t. Then go outside; the actual jungle is doing things.